I told my therapist the other day that I was feeling guilty that I hadn't posted to my blog in a month.
"Why do you feel guilty?" she asked. "I'm sure your readers have other things to do."
Needless to say, I was shocked and appalled by this bold and disappointing declaration. Other things to do? Other than obsess about the life of this odd, once-and-hopefully-not-future attorney with more emotional problems than Suri Cruise? Say it ain't so, readers!
But on the off-chance that my therapist is incorrect, here's the straight dope (side-note -- is there a gay dope? and if there is, can someone please send it to Jake Gyllenhall along with my address (that is, assuming he hasn't smoked it already)). I haven't stopped writing, I've just stopped writing so quickly. Reviewing some of my old stories, I saw a lot of room for improvement. Of course, as a die-hard perfectionist, I can find room for improvement in most anything I do. Wait a second, I think I can write that sentence better...
So don't despair, gentle reader. A new story will appear soon, and I promise it won't disappoint. And if it does, well, my therapist is accepting new patients.
16 people with too much time on their hands:
Please try to save your excessive guilt for more suitable endeavors, like not reading my blog.
Personally, I obsessively check your blog daily for new posts, crying brokenheartedly every time I find NOTHING NEW. How can you treat me like this? You remiss bastard! What are your fucking father and completely bizarre mother doing? What the hell is going ON man!!!!??!
I have you on google-reader, so I get notified when you post and don't do a lot of disappointing-surf-by-runs. I think that helps me cope with your long cruel spirit crushing dry spells.
Also, I have exactly the same thing going on right now, I feel guilty...I'm not posting regularly...I think when I finally do, it has to be something great which only adds pressure to the mounting pressure of not posting! I do keep up with heartinsanfrancisco's blog though, so I can feel good about something!
Wow. I've tapped some serious frustration here. Do you guys want my mother's phone number so you can commiserate, or do you just want to hang me in effigy? :)
As Ethan says, my mother is only controlling because she loves me so much. I will infer the same motivation onto all of you -- except you guys have a little less leverage, as I don't think any of you were in labor with me for 82 hours.
I will be back soon I promise :)
I finally see a new post available for my perusal and all I get is THAT?
HOGWASH!!!
I out to go Miss Piggy on your a**...
HIIIIIIIIIIYAH!
Just found you recently and liking it!
With an incredibly busy summer of trying to balance work, summer classes, and attempting to get on a law journal staff I always look forward to a break via your writings. So far, you've left me bereft and having to deal with real life.
Curse you Jonah, curse you! If you keep this up I might have to find a new blog hero.
I OUGHT...OUGHT...
I was SO upset I completely mistyped.
You've got me MISTYPING, JONAH!
82 hours?
Honey, she lied. I hate to break it to you, but you would both be in the Guinness Book of World Records if she'd been in labor for 82 hours.
Oh, the guilt. Would you owe her less if it had been only 14 or 15 hours?
Ouch. That smarts! I wonder if your therapist was projecting?
I base my entire blog on the conceit that my readers have very little else to do.
Jonah, I havent been in labor for 82 hours with you inside my womb but clicking continually, daily, sometimes HOURLY for a new post may constitute as labor.....I could add it up for you in moments if you'd like?
heh.
I miss your posts, post faster, not better!!!
*snarfle*
Nerd time: straight dope (pure)is as opposed to cut dope (with additives)...its the organic produce of drugs.
I'm not going to mention how long i've been checking daily for an updat eon your blog or how hurt I was that you could so casually discuss me with your therapist like that without even considering my need for privacy or the fact that after over a month all I get is that piddly excuse for a post because I do love you, Jonah and love means never having to say you're sorry, so I'll just sit here and keep it all inside. Don't worry about me, all I want is for you to be happy.
My lord! I'm so flattered by all this effusive praise and positive reinforcement. Thank you so much. It means the world to me.
PS: I'm taking out a restraining order against all of you.
Can you at least post a new survey for us to play with? How lazy can you BE?
:P
this post is SO cracking me up - why you ask? Because I was wanting to read some of your writing - got here - nothing new yet, so decided to look thru old posts! After reading this I suppose I better get a life!! Seriously I just love how you write things and love the humor and real life emotion together. So - don't be such a perfectionist - just write, ok? ! otherwise I will be forced to deal with the fact your therapist might be right and I should have other things to do!!
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